The Rev. Jo Nygard Owens: Wise and Awake
May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of all of our hearts be acceptable to you, O God, our rock and redeemer. Amen.
We have a doozy of a parable today, friends. Jesus is explaining the kingdom of heaven to his disciples, and it does not sound like the loving and grace-filled Jesus we know. There is a definite “who’s-in and who’s-out,” and the five bridesmaids who didn’t bring extra oil are out.
Of course, when they realized their mistake, the foolish bridesmaids asked the wise bridesmaids for oil. If I had been in their shoes I’d have done the same. Yet the wise bridesmaids don’t share. Which makes me wonder, if they’re truly that prepared, isn’t there enough to go around loaves-and-fishes style?
Instead the foolish bridesmaids run out to the 24-hour lamp oil shop to buy what they need. When they return, they’ve missed their place in the wedding procession, and the banquet has begun. When they seek entry, the groom says he doesn’t recognize them.
The groom, who we know to be Jesus, doesn’t recognize the bridesmaids? Earlier in Matthew, Jesus himself says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”1 The bridesmaids knock, but they are not welcomed in.
If we read the parable simply as an allegory, it can be hard to find the good news. Some are in, some are out, and it’s tough luck if you’re on the outside.
The good news? Parables are not allegories. They’re not simple 1:1 stories with a neatly tied bow at the end. “Parables are anything but direct communication.”2 In fact, parables invite more investigation to understand their meaning rather than simply make things clear within their story.
The scholars at The Bible Project say, “And so the parables aren’t simply a kind of neat, clever way that Jesus taught moral, ethical truths. They’re not simply a way that he taught systematic theology through symbols. They are an expression in the service of his announcement of the kingdom of God. That’s the main point to make here. The focal point, often the topic and theme of almost all of them, is the arrival of God’s kingdom.”3
What then, can we learn about God’s kingdom from this parable? The most obvious is that the kingdom is not yet here. We are still waiting. And while we are waiting, we should be wise and keep awake.
The parable clearly tells us that five of the bridesmaids are wise, and it seems to hint that they are wise because they were prepared with extra oil in case of a delay. Don’t get me wrong, one of my favorite sayings is “better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.” This phrase is frequently said on chilly or potentially rainy days when my children don’t want to wear a jacket or umbrella.
Bridesmaids are a notoriously prepared group. In a wedding party, one or more bridesmaids usually brings along a magic bag that contains everything from bobby pins and hair spray, to a sewing kit, breath mints, snacks, and even extra shoes. So it is entirely reasonable for these five wise bridesmaids to have brought along extra oil in the event of a delay.
But is it reasonable to expect us to carry a bag to be prepared for all situations at all times? Trust me, I know this impulse well. When I go into a situation that I cannot control, I try to order everything around me that I can. Do I have enough snacks? Are my clothes just right? Have I done all the research I can on a topic?
If we go down this road, it is easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism as the way into the kingdom. The equation goes something like this: if rules are followed to perfection, then Jesus will find us acceptable. The better we are at following the rules, the easier our entry into the kingdom will be.
Does this sound familiar? We see it with the scribes and Pharisees who were both overly concerned with the details of keeping the law, and also tracking who was in and who was out. Jesus said plenty about their legalistic mentality, but doesn’t this parable make it seem as if they are correct?
Brené Brown says, “Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance. Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance… Somewhere along the way, we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect.”4
The motivation behind perfectionism is other focused, but not in a good way. Worth only comes if others recognize and praise what you’ve done. And unfortunately, this is the way many were taught to see the kingdom of God. As transactional. As a ladder to climb with good works to enter the kingdom. Each rung of “doing it right” gets us closer to God’s love.
And that’s what the parable seems to suggest, right? The five bridesmaids were deemed wise because they brought the extra oil, and they wouldn’t share it because the others didn’t deserve it.
That is not the kingdom of God that I know, and it is not the Jesus that I know. So we must keep engaging with the text.
What if the wise bridesmaids receive their designation for another reason? Not because they bring the extra oil, but because they know their whole purpose is to wait for the groom. They are attuned to Jesus and follow him. Yes their lamps are lit with plenty of oil to spare, but it is their ability to recognize Jesus and remain with him that sets them apart. If that is what makes them wise, then the foolish bridesmaids in fact did not need the extra oil.
Franciscan monk and writer Richard Rohr says it this way: “Private perfection is not what God is talking about. It’s about connection. Not about being correct, but being connected.”5
When have you felt connected to God? Perhaps in this place with its soaring height, stunning windows and transcendent music. Perhaps out in nature – on a hike to a sweeping vista, in the mountains where we remember how small we are, or standing in awe of the vastness of a body of water. What these places have in common is that when we pause there, we are fully in the present moment—we are grounded both literally and figuratively. We are pulled out of the day-to-day monkey mind of thoughts swirling, and we sink into God’s presence.
Perhaps some of you live in the mountains or next to a body of water, but for most of us it takes a special trip to get to those places. Which means, we have to find connection with God another way. For me, that way is through centering prayer. Sitting in silence, letting thoughts drift by, and opening my heart to God.
Practicing centering prayer, even just five minutes a day, will rewire our brains. “One [way] is in the default mode network, the brain region involved in rumination and construction of thoughts about the past and future. (Hello, anxiety!) That network becomes less active in people who practice meditation”6 or centering prayer. The flip side of that is also true. By thinking of ourselves less, by moving out of our brains and into our hearts, we’re able to access greater compassion and see the world around us differently.
That is what separated the two sets of bridesmaids. The foolish bridesmaids could only think of what they needed in the moment. They didn’t have enough oil, so surely the right decision was to go purchase more. What they couldn’t see is how that took them away from awaiting the groom–their actual purpose.
The parable closes with Jesus extolling his listeners to keep awake, for we do not know the day nor the hour of his return. Thankfully, we know he does not mean to literally stay awake, because all ten of the bridesmaids fall asleep while waiting. This action seems to suggest that we still have to care for ourselves, even while waiting for Jesus’ return.
Instead, what Jesus means by “keep awake” is closer to what we hear in the passage from Amos today. The people have been waiting for the day of the Lord, and they had started celebrating it as a festival day.
But the festivals, burnt offerings and grain offerings and sacrifices are not what God wants. These are not the way that the kingdom is lived on earth. Instead, the way to prepare for the day of the Lord is by “[letting] justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an everflowing stream.”
This is how we stay awake, friends. These are not calm waters to take a nap beside. These are waters that gush and pour, that hew rock and change the landscape around them. These are the waters that bring relief to those suffering under the heavy weights of war and enmity, division and injustice.
And the way that we access these waters is through connecting to the heart of the one who gave everything for love of us. We go inward to be steeped in God’s love and compassion so that we can then turn outward and work as kingdom-bringers.
Now, there are any number of stories that I could insert here to tell of people who are working for the kingdom here on earth. There are stories of big acts and small acts, stories of justice and mercy, but I’m not interested in those stories. I’m interested in your story.
How will you stay awake? How will you tap into the love and mercy of Christ and be a kingdom-bringer out in the world, even as we pray—come, Lord Jesus. Amen.
1 Matthew 7:7
2 https://bibleproject.com/podcast/purpose-parables/
3 Ibid
4 Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
5 https://stagen.com/wisdom/richard-rohr/
6 https://stanfordmag.org/contents/what-happens-when-you-meditate